A family visit
Mar. 22nd, 2009 01:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ashetlandponyThe downturn in the economy has taken quite a toll on my personal finances. Not only have my stock investments tanked, I have also been unemployed for some time now. To keep money coming in, I have been cashing in a lot of my collectibles on eBay. Lately, however, I've been running out of things to sell, so I had started eyeing our family heirlooms as a source of quick cash.
For someone who values my family's memory as much as I do, though, you can imagine how wretched that idea made me feel. Dozens of times when I was little, Mom would point to certain objects of hers and tell me that these were heirlooms that would be mine after she died, and how it was going to be my responsibility someday to pass them down to my children.
Unfortunately, I never had children. So, a long time ago, when I first drafted a Will, I set things up so that these heirlooms would go to other of my mother's relations. I never foresaw a situation where I would be forced to actually sell those family treasures, but that time had come now.
I couldn't bring myself to do it, though. Mom's been gone 19 years, but I could still hear her voice in my mind clear as a bell, shaming me for just thinking about selling those heirlooms, for any reason. On top of this, I reasoned that, even if I did sell them, the money I got for them would probably be spent within a month. The right thing to do would be to pass them on to my relatives now. That would fulfill my familial obligation, and do away with the temptation to sell them.
So, about a month ago, I called my mother's cousin, Joan Rekoutis, to tell her about my plans. When we talked, Joan told me that she had recently undergone surgery for cancer. Well, that settled it. I would be going on my heirloom mission that upcoming weekend.
Looking back now, the family of James and Joan Rekoutis had been the relations we were closest to over the years; close in terms of frequency of visits, that is (they lived in the San Francisco Bay Area). Back in the day, I had all kinds of cousins in southern California, but despite the distance, I saw the Rekoutis kids more than any of the local ones. In preparing for my trip, though, it occurred to me that I hadn't seen Mike, Sue and Jan in 38 years. It seemed an impossible length of time, but the years do fly by.
Here's a picture of my last getogether with the Rekoutis kids, in September 1971.
From l. to r., that's Me, Susan, Janet, Mother's friend Florence who was visiting from England, Mom, and Mike.
I actually recognize my haircut! It's the one in my high school senior portrait, which had been taken only the month before. (No, you're not going to see that, at least not yet.) I also remember it was about 95 degrees that day. So why in hell am I wearing a jacket? I was so ashamed of my extreme skinniness at that age that I always wore long sleeves to hide my bony arms. You'd never see me in short pants, either. Even in gym class, I wore sweatpants rather than show my wire-thin legs. Now, I can hardly believe I went to such extremes, but my emaciation really was an obsession for me back then. I recall that quite vividly, even though I myself don't understand it now.
*chuckle* I confess, since my early teenage years, I remember being rather envious of Mike's good looks. I just knew he had to have about a million girls. Me? I knew a couple of girls by that age, but actually date any? Nuh-uh. Never happen. Not skinny, squirrelly me. Girls never looked twice at me. That's pretty much been the whole story of my life women-wise. Oh well! We can't all be Don Juans. ;-)
It's interesting to me to note that, in this picture, Mother is the exact same age I am now. I really liked Mom in my last year in high school. She had given me a lot of grief when I was younger, but she was actually pretty cool with me by this time. She knew I was soon going to go my own way, and I think she wanted our last year under the same roof together to be a happy one. It definitely was!
Anyway...
I had seen Joan and James more recently, back in 1999. (More about that subsequently.) Ten years was still much too long a time not to have visited my closest relations, though. I was really looking forward to seeing them again. Plus, it turned out everyone except Jan was going to be at the folks' house that weekend to celebrate Mike's 55th (he and I were both born in 1954), so my visit couldn't have been better timed.
It was amazing – as soon as I walked in the Rekoutis's door, it felt like coming home again. There's just something about seeing familiar faces and hearing familiar voices that is so comforting. It was great to finally meet Sue's husband, Mark, too. I remembered seeing pictures of the Ferrara's wedding back in the '70s. Sue had hardly changed at all over the years; in fact, they both looked terrific. Family life and parenthood had clearly been a blessing to Sue and Mark. And Mike still had that winning smile! Amazingly, he, like me, was still a bachelor, too. I couldn't imagine how he'd managed to fend off all the admiring ladies over the years. Or maybe he was just lucky, who knows? :-)
The highlight of the visit, though, was Mike's birthday dinner. It took a minute or two for it to sink in, but as we passed around the serving dishes, it dawned on me that I hadn't sat around a table for a real family dinner like this in over a quarter century, since Mom and Dad were both alive. I cherished every second of it. Just that family dinner alone made my trip entirely worthwhile.
After our birthday cake dessert, it was finally time to pass on the heirlooms. Then, of course, came the obligatory photos! Meet my family, on Saturday evening, February 28, 2009:
click image to enlarge
From l. to r., James and Joan Rekoutis, Mike and Daisy Rekoutis, & Sue and Mark Ferrara.
I really didn't want my visit to end, but I had to start back home Sunday morning. I managed to keep myself from choking up during our good-byes, but I didn't even make it halfway to the freeway before the happy tears started to flow. Mere words fail to convey the full measure of what this simple family visit meant to me. It truly was one of the most wonderful weekends of my later life...
For someone who values my family's memory as much as I do, though, you can imagine how wretched that idea made me feel. Dozens of times when I was little, Mom would point to certain objects of hers and tell me that these were heirlooms that would be mine after she died, and how it was going to be my responsibility someday to pass them down to my children.
Unfortunately, I never had children. So, a long time ago, when I first drafted a Will, I set things up so that these heirlooms would go to other of my mother's relations. I never foresaw a situation where I would be forced to actually sell those family treasures, but that time had come now.
I couldn't bring myself to do it, though. Mom's been gone 19 years, but I could still hear her voice in my mind clear as a bell, shaming me for just thinking about selling those heirlooms, for any reason. On top of this, I reasoned that, even if I did sell them, the money I got for them would probably be spent within a month. The right thing to do would be to pass them on to my relatives now. That would fulfill my familial obligation, and do away with the temptation to sell them.
So, about a month ago, I called my mother's cousin, Joan Rekoutis, to tell her about my plans. When we talked, Joan told me that she had recently undergone surgery for cancer. Well, that settled it. I would be going on my heirloom mission that upcoming weekend.
Looking back now, the family of James and Joan Rekoutis had been the relations we were closest to over the years; close in terms of frequency of visits, that is (they lived in the San Francisco Bay Area). Back in the day, I had all kinds of cousins in southern California, but despite the distance, I saw the Rekoutis kids more than any of the local ones. In preparing for my trip, though, it occurred to me that I hadn't seen Mike, Sue and Jan in 38 years. It seemed an impossible length of time, but the years do fly by.
Here's a picture of my last getogether with the Rekoutis kids, in September 1971.
From l. to r., that's Me, Susan, Janet, Mother's friend Florence who was visiting from England, Mom, and Mike.
I actually recognize my haircut! It's the one in my high school senior portrait, which had been taken only the month before. (No, you're not going to see that, at least not yet.) I also remember it was about 95 degrees that day. So why in hell am I wearing a jacket? I was so ashamed of my extreme skinniness at that age that I always wore long sleeves to hide my bony arms. You'd never see me in short pants, either. Even in gym class, I wore sweatpants rather than show my wire-thin legs. Now, I can hardly believe I went to such extremes, but my emaciation really was an obsession for me back then. I recall that quite vividly, even though I myself don't understand it now.
*chuckle* I confess, since my early teenage years, I remember being rather envious of Mike's good looks. I just knew he had to have about a million girls. Me? I knew a couple of girls by that age, but actually date any? Nuh-uh. Never happen. Not skinny, squirrelly me. Girls never looked twice at me. That's pretty much been the whole story of my life women-wise. Oh well! We can't all be Don Juans. ;-)
It's interesting to me to note that, in this picture, Mother is the exact same age I am now. I really liked Mom in my last year in high school. She had given me a lot of grief when I was younger, but she was actually pretty cool with me by this time. She knew I was soon going to go my own way, and I think she wanted our last year under the same roof together to be a happy one. It definitely was!
Anyway...
I had seen Joan and James more recently, back in 1999. (More about that subsequently.) Ten years was still much too long a time not to have visited my closest relations, though. I was really looking forward to seeing them again. Plus, it turned out everyone except Jan was going to be at the folks' house that weekend to celebrate Mike's 55th (he and I were both born in 1954), so my visit couldn't have been better timed.
It was amazing – as soon as I walked in the Rekoutis's door, it felt like coming home again. There's just something about seeing familiar faces and hearing familiar voices that is so comforting. It was great to finally meet Sue's husband, Mark, too. I remembered seeing pictures of the Ferrara's wedding back in the '70s. Sue had hardly changed at all over the years; in fact, they both looked terrific. Family life and parenthood had clearly been a blessing to Sue and Mark. And Mike still had that winning smile! Amazingly, he, like me, was still a bachelor, too. I couldn't imagine how he'd managed to fend off all the admiring ladies over the years. Or maybe he was just lucky, who knows? :-)
The highlight of the visit, though, was Mike's birthday dinner. It took a minute or two for it to sink in, but as we passed around the serving dishes, it dawned on me that I hadn't sat around a table for a real family dinner like this in over a quarter century, since Mom and Dad were both alive. I cherished every second of it. Just that family dinner alone made my trip entirely worthwhile.
After our birthday cake dessert, it was finally time to pass on the heirlooms. Then, of course, came the obligatory photos! Meet my family, on Saturday evening, February 28, 2009:
click image to enlarge
From l. to r., James and Joan Rekoutis, Mike and Daisy Rekoutis, & Sue and Mark Ferrara.
I really didn't want my visit to end, but I had to start back home Sunday morning. I managed to keep myself from choking up during our good-byes, but I didn't even make it halfway to the freeway before the happy tears started to flow. Mere words fail to convey the full measure of what this simple family visit meant to me. It truly was one of the most wonderful weekends of my later life...
